we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize