Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
pop tarts are not kleenex
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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