What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
