When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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