i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
