Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
wow bdsm is so cute
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
