Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
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He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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