She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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