nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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