i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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