mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
