apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize