Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.