yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize