I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
