Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
