You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
