I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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