hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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