I just made out with a guy for $7.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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