my vag is so smooth its legendary
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
