Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
lol hangovers are for mortals.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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