i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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