wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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