My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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