I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
