physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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