Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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