That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
