i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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