I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
4 words: hood of his car
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
