Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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