I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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