you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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