I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
babies were throwing up all over the place
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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