remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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