I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
