so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
