So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
