Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
