I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
