But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize