we're blogging at a bar
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
