check it out our google latitudes are spooning
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
