just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
