I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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