garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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