garbage
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you win
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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