you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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