he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
