I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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