12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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