..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
