new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
