Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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