GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
