i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
