Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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