best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
