Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
