I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
