I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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