How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
