I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
