I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
