If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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