He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
