after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize